A man like you deserves to have fond memories of his childhood, recalled to him. Unfortunately, there are no more dinosaurs!

As your friend, I am here to remind you of significant things! Like ‘always save money for retirement’!

Before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. You would know!

Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents!

Cheers to a woman who has been thirty, fifty times!

Cheers to a woman who has dyed her hair so many times, she doesn’t remember what its original color is!

Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age) Happy Birthday!

Cheers to an old man who still thinks he is young! Call it “experience” and enjoy your birthday, anyway!

Dear friend, I know you know who I am, but I hope you get tons of wishes from all those other vain people on social media who call themselves your ‘friends’, too.

Friend, don’t mind me, but ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same: calling you young would be a mistake! A HUGE mistake!

Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! It will match your age!

Friend, on this day of the year, many, many years ago, you were born! I guess that’s something!

Friend, some people are obsessed with age! Like me! I can’t believe how old you are!

Friend, you really exemplify a phrase, for me! Long in the tooth, comes to mind!

Girl, you look amazingly young for your age, but remember we went to school together. Best wishes!

Happy Birthday to a friend that has no secrets from me but always fills in her ‘birth date’ field alone.

Happy Birthday to a friend who is unforgettable! Mainly because you are the grayest one here!

Happy Birthday to a man who has witnessed great things! Invention of the wheel, the first cave drawing…

Happy Birthday to an ancient woman! Someday, you will tell me what it was like to build Stonehenge!

Happy Birthday to the woman who has it all! One hundred years of accumulation would result in that!

Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young!

Happy Birthday, friend! You are as old as you are dear to me!

Happy Birthday, friend! You were educated in the old ways! The pyramids wouldn’t have been built without you!

Happy Birthday, woman! Sometimes, I feel like you have been around, forever! (That’s because you have!)

Happy Birthday! May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows!

Happy Birthday. In dog years this would be heaven for you.

Here is to all the years that you have been alive, and the cake budget we cut down, just because candles cost a lot! Happy Birthday, woman!

Here is to another year of a receding hairline and holding in that gut!

Hey bestie, I know you are sad about your age this year, but no worries- I’m here to blow out your candles for you so you can feel like a real kid again!

I love you, girl, and I’m wishing you the best today. However, if you ever blackmail me for any reason, remember I still have those graduation photos of you.

I was going to send your gift in the mail, but the mail service said I weighed too much, so here I am.

If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Happy Birthday, buddy!

Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred!

Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred! Happy Birthday!

Looking at you, woman, reminds me of a simpler time. Like, before there was electricity!

May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday, old lady!

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, pay attention to the question and watch out what you are going to say about this glorious woman’s birthday!

Never apologize for who you are!!! Happy Birthday.

Now is the time to tell you what you truly are, friend! An old geezer!

On this date friend, you might ache a little more. That is because you are old!

Remembering you today, friend, is easy! The sheer number of your years is astounding!

Since the dawn of time, you have been here! Today, is no different!

There is something that makes you stand out, woman! I know what it is: your age!

Today friend, you should be glad! You can paint on canvas and not in a cave!

Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time!

Today, girl, there are things to marvel at! Like the length of time that you have been here!

Today, my friend, you have made me grateful for something…that I’m not the oldest person here!

Today, reflect on the fact that you have been here from the beginning! I mean, the very beginning! Happy Birthday, man!

Today, you have officially gotten past things! Like youth and hair that isn’t gray! Happy Birthday, man!

Wait, you are how old? Oh jeez, that’s almost dead in doggy years. I’m so glad we met when we’re kids. Happy birthday, bestie.

We have stuck by each other through thick and thin. We’ve been there for each other all these years and we’re still two girls who are better together than apart. That says something, don’t you think? Stay fabulous, babe.

When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred!

When you were born, the sun shone… for the very first time!

You are a woman whose very presence makes others happy! Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you!

Your beard may be gray, your wrinkles may be deep, but hey, at least there is cake!